James Luciant

[sakaha]

::James Luciant::

Type: Original
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Sexuality: Gay
Crushes: Kazumasa, Tamaki, Kyouya, Hikaru, Kaoru, and Mori
Face Claim: Kei from Rust Blaster

Appearance:

James has pure white hair with long bangs that hangs down to his shoulders. The back is a small mess of layers that come down to the bottom of his neck, giving it some spikes. His eyes are a lilac color that sometimes goes a dark purple. His face is sometimes framed with glasses to read. He has two loops in his left ear and a rainbow stud in his right.

Mister Luciant is the shortest in his family, his oldest sister towering him at 6 foot, at 5'2. Never one to eat much at all, he is underweight for his height though only by a few pounds weighing in at 125. He has no muscles to speak of for as a child he was rather feminine so instead of roughhousing with the boys he staying inside with the girls. Being more house prone then the second son gave him a light cream colored skin, though when in sunlight for to long light freckles appear on his knees and shoulders much to his hatred.

On a normal day he wears ether shorts, knee high pants, or skinny jeans and a loose shirt with ether a saying on it, picture, a logo of a show cartoon, or food. The shirts range in any color really, he more cares what's on them. He loves dressing up in Cosplay, suits, kimonos, ect, you name it and he wants to dress in it, whenever he gets the chance. He uses accessories with everything to the extreme, mostly hats or necklaces. He prefers to not wear shoes as he hates his feet being covered.

At school he mostly wears the uniform but kept unbuttoned, it's rather sexy in his eyes, but wears flats instead of the designated shoes. He always accessories, depending on the day, a collar, a news boys hat, white sunglasses, or a chain with some cute thing dangling from it.

Personality:

James is caring. After caring for siblings so much all his life he became a bit of a mother hen putting all his needs to be that motherly figure on others, even if they don't want it. At his house when he was younger he was the first someone came to when they were hurt or sick. He missed days of school or sleep to never leave the bedside of his sibling and make them better, in doing so he forgets his own heath at times. He's on people like a dog to eat, sleep, and care for themselves, even when he doesn't. James is a extreme worry wort!

Mister Luciant is rather flexible in situations. If a situation demands him to be polite and the sweetest thing he can do so in the blink of an eye. For certain things he refuses to do so but most the time it's automatic now. He can become a different person to please people. He doesn't do it for adults unless he direly needs to. Also to do so more effectively he became fluent in multiple languages, such as Japanese, French, Spanish, and a few others.

James is so used to being that older brother/ mother time that he grew to be very, very protective of his close friends or anyone hes close to. After a while it gets a bit annoying for most people. He hovers and gets jealous if ignored or not listened to / entertained. James will follow someone like a duck making sure they eat, are happy, and have all they need.

After what his parents did to him James is rather untrusting to adults, other then his aunt and uncle. When a adult tries to talk to him or get him to 'open up' he snaps at them or ignores them. It's hard to open up when the last time you did you were sent packing. He doesn't often listen to adults when told to do something though he might do it he won't acknowledged a adult.

Like most gay guys James is rather feminine. He will comment of clothes, hair, or shoes without a problem. Its not a surprise if he were to tell a girl her boobs looked great today or something. It sometimes seems rather flirty when he says stuff like that but its not. He has a great eye for detail and doesn't know when to keep some things in.

James Luciant is one of the pickiest people you will ever meet, this may also be the cause his underweight problem. He hates most food and is not scared to flat out tell you he hates it and refuses to eat it. This also causes him to seem rather blunt, maybe he is. There is a huge list of food he will not eat. He's also picky with clothes and other small things. He likes things neat and tidy and has a problem cleaning up randomly at moments.

History:

James was born in America on January 27. His Mom owned a large accessory business and his dad's a high selling artist. He is the third born with two older sisters at the time and then after a younger brother then again years later twins, a boy a girl. His parents stopped then, having six siblings. James never was alone for he was the 'parent' figure to his siblings. He always gotten whatever he wanted and learned not to share cause it was always a battle for attention, gifts, and love in that household. His mother was barely home but his dad was always there so he grew to love him more and look up to him.

When he first went to middle school, his parents thought it best to send him to an all boys dorm since he would get more done and maybe study more to take over after one of his parents, but actually he just learned he was gay. When he turned 14 he told his parents he was gay expecting love and support but got ridiculed. His parents tried to talk him out of it and sent him to private counseling for a year but he was gay and nothing could change that.

His parents gave up on and sent him to Japan to live with his mom's sister's family, which sentenced him to be untrustworthy to all adults, but his aunt and uncle. They loved him and since they only had daughters of their own they loved having a son, even a gay one. James didn't go back to his aunt's home much in fear they might do the same things his parents did and hate him. His aunt and uncle own a series of toy companies in japan so when it was time to go to high school they sent him to Ouran high school. His older siblings visit him every chance they get, and the younger ones write, but from his parents he only gets a monthly check and a letter that always sounds awkward and forced.

On his first week of Ouran he heard of the host club and checked them out. He visited them periodically but he had no designated host he like more. He visited a lot of clubs actually dark magic, the host club, and more.

Controller's Information

Nickname: Sakaha
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Seen the Anime?: Yes and I've read the manga
How Did You Find Us?: Neko~ Chan

Sample RP:
James yawned widely as the bell ending class rang. He looked out the window and walked out of the room smiling at some of the people who glanced his way. As he walked he took in his surrounding trailing his fingers lightly on the windows of the halls to his next class taking his time to get there. It was just history and that was boring so he did not feel the need to rush. It was such a lovely day out that he wished classes were outside in the courtyard.

As he saw his class nearing he sighed and walked in nearly throwing himself in the seat. The girl next to him giggled and he turned to her, what was her name even? Doesn't matter.

He flashed a smile and tilted his head like a puppy. The girl just started to blushed widely and hit him lightly. He laughed and turned when the teacher came in ready to absorb the knowledge but ignore the teacher.

[Tamaki Suoh]

Thank you for showing interest in the site and welcome to Maybe You're My Love. Before I get to the nitty gritty stuff, there's a few formatting stuff that needs fixing. Could you make the image no wider than 500 pixels please? Messes up the skin and stuff. Also I think one of the bold tags messed up near the end; the stuff shouldn't be all bolded. Finally, please capitalize all proper nouns, especially in the stuff near the top (Male, the name of the character and series your face claim is from, etc.) And spaces between paragraphs. Don't worry, those are all common issues that pop up time to time on these sort of things. But please go through and make sure you are using proper grammar and spelling in the profile; I noticed a lot of issues of that.

Anyway, the personality is a little flat. You basically spent two paragraphs telling us he is an attention whore and a flirt. Now I play Tamaki so I can't say no to that without being a hypocrite, but if that's about it to his personality he's really going to be boring. You also got a contradiction going by saying he's like a puppy and hates no one but will act cold and ignore those he disapproves us. Those two really don't go together. When you write a personality, try and make all the traits fit, don't just throw traits around you think sound 'cool'. A lot of traits are connected once you start thinking about them a little. And try and add some sort of conflict or issue (like Tamaki and his insecurity about loosing friends and his denial of his own feelings for Haruhi). Just don't go overboard and make him a complete sob case with all his family dead either though. Ouran is not really the setting for that sort of thing XD

History is kind of meh, but passable if you don't mind going through cleaning up some grammar and spelling issues. The fact your personality mentions absolutely nothing about how being pushed out by his parents for his sexual orientation however is a big strike on your profile; something that like I would imagine would be a source of conflict and inner turmoil. When you're making a character, that's the sort of thing you got to keep in mind; how was his personality crafted by the history I gave him? Also, I'm not sure a top company would really be enough to get him into Ouran, maybe one of the lower ranking classes.

Overall, work on fixing up grammar and spelling, try and make the character a little more 3-D by focusing less on the 'whore' stuff and more on some of the sources of conflict I mentioned, and I think it would greatly improve your character concept here.

[Kyouya Ootori]

Okay since Whams has asked me to help him with the review here it goes. ^.^ My corrections and advice will be in this color.

Appearance:

James has pure white hair with long bangs that hangs down to the shoulders and the banck

[/color=006699]*[/color] is a small mess of layers that come down to the bottom of thehis neck. [/quote]

I know it seems like a lot to add in the first sentence alone, but your wording there just looks off to me at this point of view. Throughout the profile there are some words that need to be placed to make the sentence look like. The part about his earrings for example a simple typo of to instead of two along with the star mark with bank in the quote above.

Since Whams did not point it out in his review all you have told us is that his skinny. I afraid he needs a weight to go along with his appearance please. He can be skinny, but please try to make it realistic for someone of his height and age please. Also can you describe his normal day and school wear for us? I know there is a dress code for Ouran, but even the students seem to have their own fashion to themselves at the time and with him being gay I feel that might influence how he might dress in the uniform a bit.

Personality:

Okay, you seem to be throwing you around a lot in the personality. Its over used a lot in this one. The use of ‘you’ really suggest second person when writing and is not commonly used in role playing. Typically role players might edge the word you in describing something every now and then, but like I said it is not something used all the time like it is in this personality. I suggest try writing it more in third person if you could.

Also, like Whams said you seem to be focusing more on the whore part of his personality and it is too flat and 2D to me. The way his family treats him I would think he would be a bit more proactive in the gay community and such and he does have five other siblings, does they pay a role in how he sees his parents? Do they feel that like his life style is wrong like they do? I would think he would hold a grudge against his parents and if his siblings think the same thing about him he would do the same for them as well. It needs more depth and you have a lot to work with from different points of views of your character.

History: Okay, I know I am being picky here, but…I have a brother that cannot string a sentence together without me going “huh what?”

3rd born

You have written out six and here you can probably add third instead. I know like I said being picky. Also the ages of thirteen and fourteen can be written out as well. It looks lazy and hurried otherwise. Usually numbers are written out up to one hundred.

You mention that his sister visits him when she could. Are you talking about one of his sisters or all three of them? Because in the other part of the sentence use say ‘they’. Picky I know, but this also addresses the lack of a bit of personality conflict about his parents and siblings. Has Whams already mention above.

James gets bad grades in school other then the tests they take, which gets him in the top 10 of his class.

Hm top ten with just doing extremely well on test? Maybe its because I took college algebra and nearly failed it because most of my grade accounted for the tests I took and I hate how the teacher wanted us to show it her way and not let us do it our own way because I have never been good at math doing it someone else’s way, but unless he scored like ninety or above I highly doubt with him doing poorly on other activities for the class that he going to do as well as to score in the top ten. Most students at Ouran especially the males it seems do rather well in school and they work their ass off for the grades or they make someone else do the work for them. I don’t think this would take well with the other kids that score well on activities and tests either. There might be a bit of jealous in that region.

For now I feel that you have enough to work with and I leave it at that. Good luck on your edits. ^.^

[Hikaru Hitachiin]

Appearance: First paragraph fine now. Remember to hit enter between paragraphs please. Alright first off in the second paragraph you start talking about his body and go straight into walking about his clothing on the second sentence. I think you can add more here to his general body build and have his clothing be in the third paragraphs. Giving a general weight and height is just lack of imagination I think. He has five other siblings and two of them are boys and siblings love to rough house with each other when they are young. I had a padlock thrown at my head back me and my older sister was rough housing and my little sister was inside. Does he have any scars or freckles or anything like that, if so please describe them for us. It would help to make him not seem to flat.

The clothing part, I am general okay with it other than the cosplay part mainly because it just one sentence thrown out there out of nowhere. I think it could be added onto a bit more too when he general wears it.

Personality: In general there are only about three characteristics of James. Being a flirt, an attention whore, and easy going around people seems to be his only traits to me because well the last paragraph kinda spoils the whole personality as a whole. He can be shy, but not at the point where it affects a lot of what you have already said about him. Also the trust issue, there is not much in his history to even suggest that has been hurt bad enough to if think he has an issue with trusting people. His parents’ issues if this is what you are refereeing to well, I would say they really would affect him to the point of not trusting people. Everyone has trust issues, but they shouldn’t be as bad as you are letting on. He in a new country, but has been there for some reason now from what I am left to believe.

Now I have to get down to pointing out that reading through this now that you actually never took our suggestions and just made corrections. Corrections are good, but we are trying to make your character not seem to flat and well boring. He needs more of a personality then the traits you have given him. Yes he is still young, but there a lot of characteristics out there that can fit in with James. Curiosity would be one of the ones I would give a character like this. You didn’t even add my suggestion about how he feels about his parents or siblings. That is a slight disappointment because it would be a wonderful attention to his personality it could also be that since he does not have his siblings around to take care of that it is why you acts like a mother hen most of the time around his closest friends.

History: The ONLY thing you seemed to change in this was the grades part when I mention it the first time and the only thing you did was deleted that sections. Besides the numbers I pointed out it just seems pointless to go about this again, but now you have force me to bring out the sharpie here.

James was born in America on January 27. His Mom ( You do not need to capitalize mom because it is not a pronoun. Also I feel talking about his siblings before going over what his parents do for a living is a bit more important at first. While we are on that subject of parents though it should be in past tense when speaking so owns should be owned because she would have had it longer than a few days or so after she James.) owns a large accessory business and his dad's a high selling artist. He is the third born with two older sisters at the time and then after a younger brother then again years later twins, a boy a girl. (Going to touch on this part a bit more mainly because since in America most first born males could be born after their father and you did not give the exact ethnic group it could be worth to mention if he was because it would play a hand if he was named after his father about his parents wanting him to follow in their footsteps.) His parents stopped then, having six siblings James never was alone, either with taking care of his siblings or going to school. He always gotten whatever he wanted and learned not to share cause it was always a battle for attention, gifts, and love in that household. (So he always got what he wanted, never learned to share, and had battle of love for his parents’ attention. Yea that does not sound possible at all in that sentence especially since in the sentence above you clearly stated he took care of his siblings. Most siblings that take care of their siblings do share with them because that just how taking care of them works for the most part it seems. I was always looking out for my two younger siblings and I shared my stuff with them. Having six children though and not learning to share it seems like he was more brought up separated from them.) His mother was barely home but his dad was always there so he grew to love him more and look up to him.

When he first went to middle school, his parents thought it best to send him to an all boys dorm since he would get more done and maybe study more to take over after one of his parents, but actually he just learned he was gay. (I think you mean school here because if it was just a dorm than yea the school would also be filled with girls. Also digging around on google there is only about a handful of all boys school in America. Did his parents also send his older sisters to a boarding school? Did they have a bad experience with one of his older sister’s and that is why they decided to send James away? Because from the personality it just doesn’t suit him to focus on school work since he finds it boring and boarding school for better grades would be a sort of a waste of money with a kid that doesn’t care too much about grades in the first place.) At the age of thirteen]/color] he was already flirting around and falling in love. When he turned fourteen he told his parents he was gay expecting love and support but got ridiculed. His parents tried to talk him out of it and sent him to private counseling for a year but he was gay and nothing could change that. (You could possible go into more detail here mainly with the family issues between his parents that had risen mainly because I don’t see a good reason for his parents to just ship him off to live with his aunt and uncle cross the world because of this issue, since by all means it is a growing factor in the world in general. Ouran is not set in the 1950’s. Yes, some parents are going to take it much harder and have their own way of deal with this matter, but they way you are playing it out is that they are pissed about it, but not that pissed about it. Yes they want to hide the fact from their friends in seems, but friends would talk to WHY they sent their son away.)

His parents gave up on and sent him to japan (Japan is a pronoun because it is a place and the J needs to be capitalized.) to live with his mom's sister's family. (Not repeating myself on this issue at hand. Look above.)They loved him and since they only had daughters of their own they loved having a son, even a gay one. Even with that he couldn't seem to fully trust them and want to be 'home' all the time. His aunt and uncle own a series of toy companies in japan so when it was time to go to high school they sent him to Ouran high school. (I think it is possible that he started to attend the Ouran school before high school since they do offer a middle school and grade school. Do his cousins attend the school with him? Or what? You have not really mention his cousins at all and well I think they would pay a major role in his life now.) His sisters visit him ever chance they get, for they do love him, though his parents only send letters. (Issue here is that you mention that they do love him, which means they would pick up a phone and call him to see how he is doing. And letters are extremely outdated for someone from his parents’ class of living. Email would probably work better than wasting time to write down a letter.)

On his first week of Ouran he heard of the host club and checked them out. He visited them periodically but he had no designated host he like more. He visited a lot of clubs actually dark magic, the host club, and more. (So you decided to take out the part about his grades and being one of the top of the class and just spoke about the clubs. Hm if you are going to go the route of him being at Ouran since he started high school then there should be a bit more or something along this line. Like if he enjoys the school and has he met some friends that he hangs around or something. It just feels like you rushed this part. You could always go down the route of him just now starting Ouran and it could be fun to actually for him to meet the host club instead of saying he visited them and has a crush on them without them actually knowing him since you are applying that the host club has meet him before.)

Happy editing this time.

[Tamaki Suoh]

All right, your personality rewrite is actually starting to get in the right direction...and taking into account some of the stuff Aya and I have been trying to tell you. However:

He has never been one to listen to what's right or wrong but rather what he thinks is right not caring for the consequences. If he sees no benefit he won't do work for it and if he doesn't feel the need to do something he also won't. Luciant enjoys living life to the fullest without rules for he only lives once. He does have morals he lives by but they are different from most of society. He is often found taking food from his friends, never giving anything back, and begging for things.

Mister Luciant is rather flexible in situations. If a situation demands him to be polite and the sweetest thing he can do so in the blink of an eye. For certain things he refuses to do so but most the time it's automatic now. He can become a different person to please people. He doesn't do it for adults unless he direly needs to. Also to do so more effectively he became fluent in multiple languages, such as Japanese, French, Spanish, and a few others.

These two paragraphs are rather contradictory, especially in the context of the rest of your personality that makes him out to be overprotective towards friends and a worry-wart. How can he be a motherly figure, but selfish and only following his own rules while giving no damn for society, AND be polite and sweet when the situation demands it. That's three different personalities in one person right there >_>. So removing those and updating the history to take into account this new personality and I think we're almost done.

[Tamaki Suoh]

All right, I believe we can deal with this. Approval.