Misazuki, Alastair

[alastair]

::Alastair Jameana Misazuki::

Type: Original
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Sexuality: Bi
Crushes: The Hitachiin Twins
Face Claim: Shana from Sakugan no Shana

Appearance:

Alastair is quite short only coming up to around 4'11" possibly if she's lucky reaching 5'2" when in boots. She is someone that when people first see her name think she is a boy, but who could blame them when after all her first name is a boy's name. Because of this and with her having boyish tendencies in personality Alastair dresses as much like a girl as possible most days just to make sure people realize, "oh she's a girl..." This in the end keeps them from assuming she is a boy. Her hair comes down to just past her waist almost hitting her bottom and is either a bright vibrant red or a very dark black. Alastair prefers to wear her hair down more often then not again to make it more easily obvious that she is a female not a male.

When it comes to outfits Alastair wears the school uniform as told when in school, however, when she is not in class she is most often found in either a mini skirt or baggy pants normally resembling Japan’s kimono pants. She then wears a tight t-shirt either displaying her mood, agenda or even sometimes just the weather. She likes to keep up with the modern styles of the century, though she does however have a few hand me downs that she adores as well.


Personality:

When Alastair was growing up she was always expected not only to be a proper young lady, but she was also expected to know as much as was humanly possible in the arts of sword fighting. This people had to admit was quite a match seeing as her father was renowned for his arts in the martial arts standards mostly dealing in sword fighting, but then again when you have a mafia lord as your father that's not a surprise. No, what was more of the surprise was his wife and Alastair's mother's occupation. When you marry a mafia or any of their lower members it was expected that more than likely your wife was as hard core and bitchy as you were. In the case of Alastair's mother however it was the total opposite, thus the reason for Alastair's though deviant attitude and sword fighting capabilities she was also raised to be a polite and respectful lady.

When people meet Alastair many can see both her father and her mother deep within her not only in looks, but in attitude. With her sweet and sensitive demeanor which she got from her mother many wouldn't realize at first glance that this young woman wasn't as easily taken down as you'd expect. Then with her inherited talents in sword fighting and quick temper Alastair if needed is able to take down up to about ten people on her own at this time. She of course must be quite alert to accomplish something such as this, but she even with her size is still quite capable to take care of herself.

When it comes to her last few most seen personality traits however no one really knows which side of the family she inherited them from. First off when it comes to games, tricks and quick stated stories Alastair has each one down to a T it would seem. If she feels that she's been caught in something that she has done that was either deviant or a joke she is able to off the top of her head come up with a reason either she wasn't involved or a reason why it was valid for her to do such a thing. The next one which is less seen is the fact that she has a natural talent for singing. Though this is a talent that her parents find interesting they do not easily allow her to flaunt it seeing as she is to one day either become a model like her mother or if they do not have an another child as in a male child Alastair is expected to one day take over her father's position as the leader. She isn't exactly thrilled with this, but then again what real sixteen year old girl would?

History:

The day Alastair was born was quite a shocker to the Misazuki family. When her mother had entered the hospital to have her child she had been expecting a boy not a girl. Seeing as most of the Misazuki's who inherited the title of Mafia Lord was of course male she had expected that her first born child was going to be male. However, when Alastair was born a female even with the slight disappointment no less was considered of her being born a female. Instead seeing as she was the only born child thus far out of the Misazuki family a lot more is expected out of her. Being born to not only a Mafia Lord, but to a model as well made your life it would seem at least in Alastair's mind hell. She was not only born and given a male's name, but she was forced to go through training in sword fighting and proper etiquette. In all of this she was not only taught that she must be feared, but she must also be able to show that she is elegant and can be respectful. Alastair was quite confused on how exactly you were to look like a beautiful model and yet be feared for being a Mafia daughter, but she does what she can to uphold both titles.

Through out her school years Alastair has been known to not only dress like a rich beautiful woman, but to have the attitude of a snobby, respectful, and yet feared woman as well as stated above. When it comes to how she has truly felt though growing up Alastair wishes she could have a simpler life including being a guest at the prestige host club. When in class and while wandering the school she listens to how the girl's talk about those who are in the host club. Each one seems to have their own family issues that they must over come, though they don't show it.

For a good while Alastair has watched the club from a far, though one day, she did enter just out of curiosity. When she did she was noticed that each girl had chosen a specific host they wanted to see. Not sure at first who to choose Alastair finally chose to visit even if it was only for one time the Hitachiin twins who's brotherly love though noticeably to her an act was quite intriguing. She found their company to be one that she liked and soon found herself crushing on them. Alastair hasn't visited the club again since so as not to look like a fan girl, but she has been thinking of once again visiting the twin's so as to enjoy their company once more.

Controller's Information

Nickname: Alastair/Kyraina
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Seen the Anime?: Yes
How Did You Find Us?: Wandering google to find an active OHSHC site

Sample RP:

Kyra was the kind of person who wasn't to easily pursuaded into the manor of simple manors and facade to please a woman, but somehow as she listened to the guy who introduced himself as Kaoru Hitachiin Kyra couldn't help, but feel like she was a little impressed by his style of facade. Though she tried to hide this however as he said he could show her to her next class if she so pleased. This was one that seemed to even shock Kyra, for, as far as she could see most of the people around here were only worried about themselves and nothing else even her parent's friends kids hadn't even taken the time to try to help her out, but instead had just run off without another care in the world.

"Um... sure can you show me where this class is?" She pointed at one of her classes which was listed on the paper she'd been carrying. Her family expected her to be well rounded in education so, thus, even though she was in her first year she had been thrust into a beginners French Class. She was quite worried about taking such a class at her age, but her parents had always seemingly known best before, thus, though she was against the class in general she followed what they said.

As he bowed asking her where to she finally blushed then spoke, "I guess it would be wherever beginner's french is my dearest escort..." he played the part well enough that she felt it alright to let her artistic side out just enough to play along with his game or what seemed to be a little game, "though I do have a question..." She then paused not sure on how to go about asking him. He'd said his last name was Hitachiin did that mean he possibly might be the son of one of her mother's designers? She'd heard the last name mentioned in passing before, but never really thought to much about it till now.

"You said your last name was Hitachiin right? Is your mother by chance a fashion designer?" She hoped she didn't seem intrucive for she didn't want to come off as rude or ignorant or even invasive for that was never the way she meant for things such as this to come out as.

[alastair]

FINISHED ;D

[Whammy]

Hello, and welcome to Maybe You're My Love? Let's get started shall we?

Appearance is fine, maybe that one sentence about her looking like a boy is a bit of a run on so break it up a bit.

Personality is really too short; the personality really shouldn't be shorter than the description. Each sentence on is own just barely describes a part of her and you could probably expand a lot more. For example, what are these talents she does not show off because she fears reaction? What does 'plays off within the school" mean? You also have the issue with run on sentences here as well.

History, again, run-on sentence issues. What are these ideals that they are pushing onto Alastair (and that gives you something to write about in the personality too since such a thing would cause conflict). You also mention she has a crush on the Hitachiin twins, so the story behind that would be nice.

Also, the way you are using 'manor' should be manners: manor is a building, manners is the etiquette. But overall, you could use some more fleshing out and detail, and a proofreader to try and weed out all the run on sentences and over and under use of commas in the right spots.

[alastair]

ok though this may make it more difficult i re-did her whole history and some of the personality. Their is still the slight conflict, but in a different manner. I hope things look a little better as well for i know my grammor isn't the best.

[Whammy]

All right, this is better, but I would suggest still having someone proofread through it. The Mafia Lord's Daughter is fine, but there is another family in the area (where that Casanova, Bossanova, or whatever his name was from) so that might be a source of tension and might want to get mentioned at some point.

I'll probably have Aya look at it too to see if she spots anything or can offer suggestions to.

[alastair]

I checked some of the grammer using microsoft word and edited what it said was needed besides of course her name and as for the other mafia families mostly considering the one you spoke of I'm going to have it that at this moment in time though she is hounded as stated within her history to be feared for she may have to take over her family's buisness of the mafia that she herself doesn't know much about the other families for her family hoping to have a male heir born sometime within the near future hasn't yet informed her of all of the families that could cause her issues hoping that they don't have to hand her the title seeing as the mafia's head has always been a Misazuki male.

[Aya-chan]

She is someone that when people first see her name think she is a boy, but who could blame them when after all her first name is a boy's name. Because of this and with her having boyish tendencies in personality Alastair dresses as much like a girl as possible most days just to make sure people realize, "oh she's a girl..." This in the end keeps them from assuming she is a boy.

All this I actually feel is repeating itself over and over again to the point it makes me want to turn away from the profile. It should be more noticeable in the history than the appearance section of the profile. Mind you have haven’t got that far so I don’t know how you have flushed it out yet. Also what is her eye color? That is never mention once in the two sections of appearance. You have three main points in the first paragraph of the appearance and they goes has the following: height and weight are one, hair, and “SHE NOT A BOY!”. All and all I think the appearance could be flushed out a bit more by describing like her structure more.

Personality:

This people had to admit was quite a match seeing as her father was renowned for his arts in the martial arts standards mostly dealing in sword fighting, but then again when you have a mafia lord as your father that's not a surprise.

This sentence should start with “To this”
You are more focused on her father and mother than you are in developing her personality it seems. The only paragraph that doesn’t really mention ether one of them is the third one. Of course children are going to get some personality traits from their parents since they are typically the only ones around the children in a constant manner. You also tend to write second person, second person is “you, we, etc” Typically second person is not exactly how you want to flush out the personality. Could you write the parts that you did have you in there to make it all third person?

History:

You also use second person and it needs to be rewritten for that part. Like Whammy said, the mafia thing is fine if you include the rivalry of the other mafia in area. Also is she part French or something? The name Alastair I don’t believe is a Japanese name. The history itself is flushed out by what is expected from her as is her personality to a degree I think. There no events other than her going to the club or school and how she watched the girls talk. It just doesn’t feel like a history, but an extension to her personality. Please actually provide events from her life that made her think how she does “life of a daughter of a model and mafia lord is hell” Flushed that out through events please it will help us understand where your character is coming from. (I have always found writing the history to how YOU want it to be will flush out the personality of character better, because you are in their mindset. That’s just me though.)

[alastair]

Thank you for the information. I shall get to this as soon as I can. The only thing that is going to suck is soon I will not be having much time to focus on all of this. I'm normally quite good with doing profiles, but sadly it seems this time I'm failing heavily, which means heavy redoing on my part so I can delve deeper into what you have helped provide for me to flesh her out better. Once again I shall finish this profile's redoing here as soon as possible.